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ahhh, yes my blog.

so its been a rather long time since my previous post and lots of things have been going on.

for one, my exams are finally over, that means its about one entire month of relaxing before preparing again for my prelims and o's.. should i find a job or something? haha, i was thinking of like working in a hotel with my friend or something, and like sneaking in to use some of the awesome facilities they have. :D

And another thing is that yalpha is coming up and i feel like i have not been committing much prayer into it, its seriously horrible of me. i guess, i'm still trying alot to invite my friends and to bring christianity into my daily convos with them, but i hope its truly because of pure love for God and them that im doing this, not because im doing it for the sake of doing it.. which i sometimes think i do. i requires alot of prayer, alot.. and only through that can i be cetain that im sharing with my friends through the power of the holy spirit.

anyway, yesterday was really really fun. i went to catch a movie with my friends, Ben & Su! yup, we watched beastly, which i found rather alright. But the best part of the day was that when we got of the mrt on our return trip to woodlands, i kinda spotted something in my friends hair. me and ben thought it was popcorn at first.. but when su like touched hair hair, we realised that it was gum instead.. and then the rest of the day were followed by screams from her through out our time at cwp.

so today has been tiring.. i've been on my bed for like hours trying to complete my hw.. and like later at 5 i have to go for a ceremony.. which means it's gonna be boring like the rest of the day.

wobbles.

Post

So, finally, another blog post.

This week has been really good i guess.

Completed my geog paper!! yes.

interestingly, on that day of the exam, i fell super sick. like super super. i vomitted 4 times??

yes zenas, stay strong.

so i seriously felt like God was telling me something. for the past week, i've been like cramming and mugging for my papers that were on thurs, and right on that morning i fell sick.

i guess God was really reminding me on my promise to Him to be more dependent on Him and less on myself. I feel sickened by how much i've cheapened a simple promise i made to Him.

anyway, i had cg yesterday and i felt it was a really good time we had together as a group.

doing the purple book helps me to really reflect on my week and my current spiritual state. it helps me to see where my personal relationship with God really is.

And during cg, i can see the many things that we can thank God for. im so happy to see celes putting in effort and participating in cg more these days (: can tell that God is starting to work in her. will continue to keep her in prayer. (: and also we celebrated like ian, nadia and amanda's birthdays this week. i hope they enjoyed their birthdays, even with all the exam stress that's been going around. also, Germ's is leaving for missions to China! im so proud of her and seriously can't wait for what she'd learn from the trip and how God would guide her. im seriously so thankful for such a righteous and caring leader He has placed in our lives. I hope her trip would be safe too, and i'll miss her like alot..

anyway, i was also glad to see so many people come this sat. and i realised that everytime i go for cg, i feel that God reveals more and more about my friends, and how i should care and pray for them. i really should start putting more effort into praying for my friends as well (: i love them all so much!!

So, today's sun, and me, ian and pat went to study tgt after service. yongling joined us too (: really happy that she joined us! we were somewhat studying i guess, but we talked alot too. haha. had a great time with them!

also, there's been a few things that im pretty unhappy about with myself.. i realised that even up to now, when i say that im gonna stop flirting, liking or crushing on girls, i realised that subconsciously, i still do. the way i think about them, and the way i sometimes talk to them, even though i have no intention of going into a relationship. its really hard not to, and i really need God's help in controlling my thoughts and actions. atleast im glad that God has shown me how ugly i truly am, and through this i can see how much more i need to improve to be more like Him. God is soo awesome.

Germaine was right, journalling is really good. maybe someday, future zenas will look back and learn something from all this. haha.